Mark Robinson

I was raised in a Christian family. I remember as a child being taught about God and that he wanted to be active in my life. I have faint memories of experiencing God and seeing him do some cool stuff. I remember going to prayer meetings with my family and singing songs and seeing people putting their hands in the air and all that stuff.

When I was 16 one of the biggest events of my life occurred. We moved… It wasn’t just any move; this was when we moved from Ireland to the UK. This was a very traumatic event for me. I didn’t want to move to England. I had some great friends, I had a girlfriend and life was pretty good. Moving country was the worst thing that could have happened to me…..at least that was what my 16 year old mind thought.

The process of adapting to our new life was not what I would call smooth. On the one hand I was able to re-invent myself at a new school but on the other hand I missed my friends, siblings and old life back home. Despite the new fangled popularity I was quite depressed but over time and through growing up a bit, I got over it all.

The process of integrating in to a completely different schooling system and then moving from Kent to London two years after arriving in the UK was to be the reason I ended up doing two sets of A-Levels. In Kent I started Math’s, Physics and Computer Science. I did like them but I didn’t have any fun with them. I was a typical case of a young lad having absolutely no idea as to what I would end up doing as a career. So I chose those on the basis of some ridiculous childhood notion of wanting to be a mechanical engineer or something like that. When we moved to London it was in the December of my second year of A Levels and I was unable to find a school or college that would let me finish out the a-levels I was doing so I worked for 6 months doing a variety for temping jobs from pipe bending to computer sales. The following September I found myself in Ealing going to an open day at what was Ealing Tertiary College. My Agenda? Find a course to do that would be fun… giggle-some… a laugh.  When I left I’d signed up to A levels in Spanish, Media & Photography.

I think it was over the next two years that I would really start to question my faith. At this college there was an overwhelming majority of Asian (as in Indian, Pakistani etc) kids. I made loads of friends and also had a few short lived “teen” romances. Being friends with these guys opened my eyes to the reality that there are many different religions that people believe. I began to question why is it that the Christian Faith is the right one. I began to drift and I soon stopped going to church altogether.

I went on to go to University and the fine establishment of “The University if Central Lancashire” in Preston. Yeah, university was ace but during my first year the whole faith thing went out the window as more important things came in to play like getting drunk or laid or when the next big bike ride was happening.

In my second year I met Tika. She was to become the most important thing in my life. We started a relationship that would last 5 years. Her family was of the Hindu Faith. I remember going to the library and reading about Hinduism. This re-sparked the interest in other religious. I read about others, Islam, Buddhism, Sikhism, Shinto, and others.  At this stage I was not on some spiritual quest. I just found in fascinating that people followed such different belief systems. I think I had been very naive and ignorant to this idea. And seeing as I was dating a girl of a different religion I thought it my duty to find out more. I eventually got to the stage where I didn’t really want to “buy in to” Christianity any more. It just didn’t really add up and it didn’t seem fair that only one religion was the right way. I officially labeled myself as “Agnostic”. I certainly did believe in God but I didn’t know what or who he was.

Life progressed onwards and I started a career as an assistant editor in White City, West London.  This brought me on to work for a Voice-Over agency in Soho. Life was beginning to be really good. I was making money, I worked in the media industry, I had a girlfriend. Yeah – life was going great. When I’d joined the company in Soho they were paying me a very low wage. This was based on promises of training with some of the best engineers and editors in Soho. These promises never came through and so frustration grew. I eventually took the plunge and went freelance. I kept them as a client but took on others like Ministry of Sound and Tesco. I also started doing more technical work in the form of Video Wall engineering and stuff like that. Again life was good for a little while.

Soon my relationship with Tika had reached a point where the next step was geeting closer. She had never told her parents about us for fear of retribution and dishonoring her family by dating a non Hindu, non Indian, non-having-a-great-career-making-loads-of-money-guy.  We got too the point where an ultimatum was needed. We decided to take a break for a month with the idea being that if we realized we couldn’t survive without each other then we would tell her parents then probably we would have gotten engaged then married soon after. After the break Tika told me that she couldn’t live without me but she still couldn’t bring herself to tell her parents. We talked the point over and over but she just couldn’t get past it. As a result of this we both agreed that we should probably end the relationship. So quite amicably and with much sadness we called it a day.

This is where life started to go down hill for me.

After this my freelancing contracts started to dry up. It was starting to get really difficult. I was scraping the barrel of my merge finances and even got to the point where I completely screwed up the household accounts in the house-share I was living in. I’d had a few relationships here and there and I realized how needy I had become. The idea that Tika had not been willing to make sacrifices for me  made me question if anyone else would. I became this clingy, needy bloke. This, coupled with the finances and no real direction to go in my life, left me starting to get quite depressed.

Around this time I was asked to do a 3 week stint as a Video Wall Engineer on the well know show “The Price is Right” This involved living in a hotel down the road from Granada studios for three weeks. The video Wall was a very specialized piece of kit so I was new to the crew. I had become a little shy again also so I spent a lot of evenings going out to the cinema. There are a few cinemas in Manchester and I went to the different ones depending on what was on but in each one they were showing the advert for the alpha course:

As editing was my main skill I was really impressed with it. I was more impressed with the fact that a Christian organization had obviously put a lot of money into the campaign. I knew what the Alpha Course was because of my Parents. It blew me away at how good the ad was.

The day after I came back to London my dad gave me call to see how Manchester had been. We caught up on all the news and then out of no-where he told me that he and my mom were helping out on an Alpha Course being run in Acton and asked if I would be interested. I found it hilarious and told him all about how I’d seen the ads in the cinema but that I didn’t think it was something I’d be interested in. He was cool and didn’t try to persuade me in any way. After the phone call I was interested to find out for myself what it was all exactly about and how it worked. I guess I had started to also think about what I believed in and why. I checked out the alpha site and then didn’t really think much of it for another couple of weeks. I dipped in and out of it in my thoughts but that was about it.

A couple of weeks later my Dad called me again to remind me about the course was starting the following evening. He wasn’t pushy, more just wanting to know if I was interested. At this stage I was not sure – I think I was more interested in a free night out with food and an opportunity to see my folks. I told him I didn’t know if id go or not with a “If I’m there I’m there, if I’m not, I’m not”. I really didn’t know if I was gonna go or not.

So the next morning I was out walking Fergus, my flat mate’s dog. Hindsight has helped me piece this altogether. I was thinking about whether I’d go to the course or not. As I was doing so I was listening to some music. I was listening to an old Gospel track (despite not being a Christian I still loved some of that stuff) and it was getting to its peak, the big crescendo if you like. At the same time I was walking in to a clearing in the wooded area I was walking through and the sun was just breaking through the clouds in the sky.

- while all this was happening I was thinking about whether or not to go to the course. I kind of felt it was pointless. I idly said to myself “If there really is a God out there who wants to actively play a part in my life he’d send me some sort of sign.”

At that precise moment, a pigeon pooped on my head. It really was a perfect moment. I burst out laughing. It was rather comedic timing after all. I couldn’t ignore this. While still rather skeptical I thought it deserved a chance so I went along.

It was an interesting experience. It was good to have my folks there. The people running the course were all very lovely people. (I married one of them) I ember worrying that these Christians would try shoving things down my throat and try manipulating me in to believing what they wanted me to believe. I was on my guard constantly. As I got to know them all a little better I found that none of this happened. They really were a lovely bunch of people. They told me their ideas and were happy to listen to my own opinions and gripes especially when I was pointing out the flaws I saw in the Christian faith. They tool it all on the chin.

I was to find out for myself – and let me stress this – I did find out for myself, this stuff was not spoon fed to me – I found out that most of what I believed when it came to the flaws was untrue. There was an aspect of where I had built up in my head what/who I thought God was. I also had an idea of what/who I thought God ought to be. I found that the latter was actually more accurate. Because of this I realized that all my issues on the Christian faith were founded in a lot of issues I had built up around myself.

I thought God was this wise old fart sitting on a cloud looking down and laughing his arse off at us and using us for his amusement. I began to think about the claims of Christianity and what they meant. I realized that if those claims were actually true then it was an actually incredible. It was ….. Awe inspiring.

After the Alpha Course ended I wanted to find out more. Ruth (who led the course and is now my wife) invited me along to their service at OakTree with the promise of introducing me to hot women and a pint after the service. When I went to the service I was amazed. This was a church service like nothing I had experienced. I actually thought it was quite cool. The music was rocking, the service was far from dull and the sermon…the sermon was fascinating. I felt like Mark (the minister) was speaking directly to me with what he was saying. It would take me a while to realize that God was using him to speak to me. At first I put it all down to co-incidences but I soon realized that there were just too many for it to be a fluke. Things started to make sense. When I started to look at the world through Jesus’ eyes it became an amazing place of opportunity, hope, love, happiness and just out-right awesomeness.

Since then I have learnt so much. With Jesus I am sooooo much stronger. Ultimately I can achieve anything, I fear nothing, and I am saved… it seems so simple but I have no more worries that He can’t handle. I don’t have to rely on my own abilities because I rely on Him. I used to say that Christians had faith as a crutch to get them through life. YES it’s true. Before I met Jesus my life was hard and I didn’t know happiness. Now I have Him in my life -  life is BRILLIANT!

Jo T’s Story

Jo’s story is an amazing story that makes you stand up straight and listen. She has a real gift of communicating well through written word so we have taken her written testimony for you to read;

It’s just another weekday. Ordinary for some & fairly typical for me. I won’t say “normal” because I somehow get the impression that it isn’t. I’m on my way home from school. Perhaps my greatest achievement today is getting from one end of the day to another without getting a kicking. Although whether that is a good thing….. well the jury’s still out on that one. I don’t know what’s worse, that or the subtle name-calling or ignoring and shunning. At least physical injuries heal. Emotionally it’s harder. I walked out of class today, not that that changed anything.

Anyway, I’m getting closer to my house- I can just see it at the top of the road. Instead of feeling a sense of relief, I feel a sense of dread. What am I going to walk into tonight? Is she going to break the habit of a lifetime & actually be sober tonight? It’s payday, so it’s unlikely. Which probably means another night of rows & breaking up fights. Or stopping her from threatening Dad with a knife or even threatening suicide? Maybe we’ll be fortunate & she’ll just sleep? Who knows?!

You see, I’m talking about my mum & she’s an alcoholic. Has been for years. Mind you, Dad’s not much better. They divorced a couple of years ago. I actually made mum get a divorce after Dad knocked two of her teeth out during a drunken argument. Of course I had to mop up the blood afterwards! It’s like a role reversal- I’m the parent & she’s the child when she’s like this. But the divorce made very little difference. It’s just like they can’t live with each other & they can’t live without each other! And the last family holiday we all went on? Well I laugh when I think of that! Let’s just say my brother & I ended up, on the first night unscrewing all the light bulbs in the chalet. Why? Well to stop mum stabbing Dad because he left the light on! Yes, you guessed it, another drunken argument!

This is describing a fairly typical day during my teenage years. I bet you’re wondering how I dealt with this on a daily basis? Well there is only one way. By the power & the Grace of God. You see I invited Jesus to be Lord of my life at around the age of 13. Although much of this was already happening, I knew no different at the time. But I believe God called to me Himself at His appointed time. You see I started going to church, alone, at the age of 12. I decided one day that I wanted to go. Just like that. Fortunately Mum and Dad were ok with it. I don’t really think they were too bothered one way or another. I remember the first time I walked into my local church. I chose that one because apparently that is where myself and my brother were christened and both my sisters were married, so it seemed like the obvious choice.

Anyway I can’t even remember what the service was like, or any part of the sermon. But what I do know is that there was something there that made me want to come back, that made me want to be a part of whatever it was. I guess in hindsight I know that is what is the most important thing that introduces people to the church (God’s family). It’s not necessarily styles of worship, or dynamic sermons (although it is important to be culturally relevant and move with the times!) It’s the sense that they are finding something there that is missing from their lives, that they want a part of. And this proved to be an essential part of God’s provision for me when the next major event was to happen.

I’m off round Kathryn’s again tonight. I do that usually a couple of times a week. She’s a friend from church. Her family know about what’s going on at home so they usually invite me round their house just to give me a break. I’m having dinner before I go. Mum doesn’t appear to be quite so drunk tonight. How do I know that? Well she cooked for a start! On bad days it’s usually me otherwise we don’t eat.

For some reason I still feel more apprehensive about tonight. I’m not sure why. To the point where I can’t stomach my food so I leave most of it. Then Kathryn’s Dad arrives to pick me up.

It’s a good evening overall. We didn’t do much, but I’m in the middle of my year 11 mock exams so it’s just as well. All too soon it’s time for them to drop me home. It’s only about 10 minutes. When we arrive I usually open the door and turn around to wave. This is the unspoken signal that everything is ok. However tonight is different. As soon as I open the door with my key I can hear a lot of banging and crashing and shouting from upstairs. I don’t think twice I just belt up the stairs. I find my mum and brother in the bathroom and, lets just say, it’s not exactly the “Hi Jo, how was your evening?” I was hoping for! Basically mum is knocking ten bells out of my brother. She’s had a few more to drink since I left then!

It breaks off at that point. I’m not even sure how it started. Neither is mum. But this is usually the way it is. Mum’s sloping off to her room now and she’ll probably just sleep it off now. Uh oh… I’ve just realised my friends are still outside. They’re probably wondering what’s going on. I’d better go and talk to them.

That was the last time I was to walk out through that door. It wasn’t planned that I would actually leave that day, of course it wasn’t. But looking back I can see that God decided enough was enough. He was to bring me out of that situation. Only He knows what would have happened otherwise. He sees the bigger picture because He created it! We only see the tiniest, most minute part of it at the time. We probably won’t know the ins & outs, the whys and wherefores this side of eternity. But we have to trust God.

I’m staying with my friend’s family. I convinced myself that it was only for tonight, just while things calmed down at home but, deep down I knew that once I left there was no way I could go back. It’s been a rough night. Mum sent the police around to get me but I refused to go. So we were up till around 1am while the police were backwards and forwards negotiating. On top of all that I’ve spent the whole night with my head in a bucket throwing up! Not a good start to my exams!

Only God knows how He carried me through that time in my life. This was to be the first of 13 moves during the next 12 years. Sometimes I didn’t know where I was going to be staying in the next couple of days. But I’ve never been without a roof over my head or food in my stomach. God knows what we need even before we do! And he never sees His children without. Of course that doesn’t always stop me from fretting about how I’m going to pay this bill or that bill or about having more month left than money! We’re only human after all! But God is always more than faithful- if we would only trust Him as such!

Four years have passed since that night when I walked out of home. It’s been a real rollercoaster ride- certainly not easy! But God has been with me throughout. Mum’s health has steadily got worse. To the point where she never even gets out of bed. Even before that she started to lose the use of her legs. Now she barely gets up to use the toilet. She’s still drinking of course, but according to her there isn’t a problem. She’s dying, I know she is. And there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. Dad’s moved back in. Not that he was ever really away, he just had a different address.

It’s New Years Eve. My brother has asked me to baby sit. I never go anywhere anyway so I don’t mind. I’m staying overnight. My brother and his partner are getting ready but all of a sudden he realises he’s run out of hair gel. Remembering that he left some at Mum’s place, he goes over there.

About half an hour has passed when the phone rings. I think nothing of it at first because my brother’s partner goes to answer it. Then she calls me to the phone in a panic but won’t say why. I pick up the phone and it’s my brother on the other end. Apparently mum is in hospital. It’s serious. Deep down I know why she’s there. The hospital doesn’t appear to be holding out much hope. There’s nothing we can do tonight so my brother and his partner go out as planned. They’ve poured me a glass of wine before they left but I can’t bring myself to drink it.

It’s funny really looking back at this because even here I can see that God was at work. The fact was that mum had been in hospital since the early afternoon and we found out in the evening. How we found out was purely because my brother had run out of hair gel! Otherwise I don’t think we would have known until it was too late. I believe God intervened by using something so seemingly simple.

It’s now New Year’s day. At the first opportunity my brother & I go to the hospital. The nurse points out where Mum’s bed is. I do a double take. It really doesn’t look like her. She’s a bit jaundiced and she’s unconscious. She’s attached to a drip and a catheter. Apparently she has pneumonia but the main problem is her liver is packing up. Although we knew this day was coming years ago it still doesn’t seem quite real.

Mum’s condition deteriorates overnight so we are called back to the hospital. She’s been moved to a private room. Her chest is rattling every time she tries to take a breath. The nurse tells us that it is getting near the end now that she has a matter of hours to live. We leave after a couple of hours. There is nothing more we can do here. She actually lives for another six hours and dies early the next morning. As soon as I heard the phone ring I knew. My sister came into my room but only has to look at me. I’ll save her the trouble of telling me because I know anyway. Mum’s gone.

Even then God was in control. The fact that she died in slightly less time than the hospital gave her meant that she didn’t die on my birthday. I believe God cares about the seemingly small details of our lives. And although to my knowledge Mum didn’t have a real faith in God before she died I spent the last few hours of her life praying for her. Although I cannot say what happens on the death bed all I know is that as a child of the living God my prayers counted for something. There are some things that I won’t know this side of eternity and I fully believe that we should share the gospel in any way we can and at the opportunities God gives to us- not necessarily wait until they are at the point of death and then try to remember to pray for them.

Ruth Robinson (nee Walley)

Ruth Robinson has been a member of Oak Tree since 1999 and tells of how her life was turned around when her flatmate asked her to church one day. Having been brought up as a Roman Catholic, she found things at Oak Tree a little different.

‘In 1999, I was living with my boyfriend and some other flatmates. He was everything I had ever wanted and although I would have denied it at the time, my life pretty much revolved around him, increasingly so as my family started to have problems. I felt like I had finally arrived in the world. One week in June 1999, he went on holiday and my flatmate invited me to church. I was what they call a lapsed Catholic – I had gone to church as a child and didn’t hate it, but really saw no relevance to my life.

I went along and was blown away by the informality of the service and the band. At the end, I found myself following my flatmate to the area where they were offering prayer. I burst into tears as I told the people offering to pray for me about the family breaking up and as they prayed I felt a peace and warmth go through me, like someone was giving me this amazing hug. I was amazed that God could be tangibly present.

After that I began to come back to Oak Tree every week. My boyfriend came back from holiday and instantly there was a change in our relationship. He began not to come home some nights and be all tired and moody when we were together and I got very insecure as all my worst fears about losing him began to come true. I began an Alpha course that September and half way through I discovered he was having an affair with a girl he had met on holiday – my life as I had known it collapsed.

I realised I had nothing and felt worthless and yet I was learning all about this God who loved me and knew me, who would never leave or let me down and had sent his son to die for me. I was, and still am, overwhelmed when I think of what he went through to bring me into a relationship with him.

One night, at home in my room, I was worrying about what it would mean to give my life to Jesus. I had enjoyed being in a relationship and being able to join in with the world’s expectations. I guess I saw my identity in being a bit of a sex kitten. I didn’t want to be a nun!! But I knew I wanted Jesus so I prayed this kind of ‘I give you my life but please either keep me away from guys who’ll pressure or ridicule me or let me find a nice Christian guy quickly’ commitment prayer.

Here we are now some years on. I thought I had my life sorted before, but I realise now that inside I was broken. Jesus has taken me on this amazing journey of healing and realigned my priorities. I now know he has a plan and purpose for my life to make a difference to the broken world we live in. He has taught me about the joys of living in a loving community and building others up. I have a hope and a future that isn’t about living up to the world’s expectations and I feel free. ‘

Oh and I finally found my Christian guy too….it took me 7 years but we met in God’s perfect timing.